Financial Status in Marriage

Ayna · 13th September 2009, 05:13 PM

Well, the questions are quite frank so I'm hoping to get equally direct answers.

Ladies: Would you marry someone who isn't "well-off", basically in a lower financial status than you are?

Guys: Would you allow the ladies in your family (sisters/cousins/daughters/etc) to marry someone who isn't well off and from a low financial status?

Disclaimer: Comments smothered in BS will be marked as off topic and deleted

.

ArwaB · 13th September 2009, 05:18 PM

No, I want him to be well off...but he doesn't have to be filthy rich either

Azzan · 13th September 2009, 07:18 PM

No, he should atleast be able to provide them with a similar lifestyle if not better.

Toxic Honey · 13th September 2009, 07:26 PM

^^^ agree

lets be honest right here ... there should be some balance a guy shouldnt make his wife feel that she had a better lifestyle :/
..their financial background should be at least equal

iBoost · 13th September 2009, 07:42 PM

Normal Guy + Rich Girl = Might Get through it if the man is willing to make her live the life she used to live or better

Normal Girl + Rich Guy = it Happens Alot and there is no problem with it at all

Rummy · 13th September 2009, 08:01 PM

^^
Agreed.

If he is going to afford to support the current lifestyle I live in or better than that I wouldn't mind, but if he is going to make me compromise against my will and force m to let of of things that make up my current lifestyle then he can seriously forget it. He should accept the fact that I live a certain way and that he has to live up as per to those standards.

Princess182 · 13th September 2009, 09:19 PM

^^ Ditto.

Ayna · 14th September 2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rummy

If he is going to afford to support the current lifestyle I live in or better than that I wouldn't mind, but if he is going to make me compromise against my will and force m to let of of things that make up my current lifestyle then he can seriously forget it. He should accept the fact that I live a certain way and that he has to live up as per to those standards.

^ very very well said, took the words right out of my mouth!

Good to see honest people in this place!

I know chicks in real life that say stuff like, "hatha shay ma muhim, aham shay a7ebo o aham shay ykoon ensan ya3ref rabo o deeno.. elghena ghena eldeen.. b3dein ana wiyah bnebni nefs'na together"

(This isn't as important as our love and his religion, wealth is about religion, we can build ourselves together)

*yawns*

Umm.. No thanks! I obviously care very much about deen, but deeno 7al nefso (it's for himself), it won't put food on the table nor will it pay the bills at the end of the month!

I'd never ask for someone who's filthy rich as that is far from my concern, but I won't however settle for someone who's financial status is less than mine ONLY because I'm hoping to maintain my current lifestyle that I'm leading with my parents and not less.

Phat · 14th September 2009, 12:18 AM

It should work out for both, sentimentally, but if we are talking about lifestyles then it depends on the personality of the man. Like you know how men are always proud of themselves by nature and like to always feel to be the source of "warm hugs" and those hugs cannot be felt unless if he is providing his woman/family with what they want...by HIS money..if a woman would want to buy a dress, he would want to buy her even if he doesn't seem to... but thats how it feels like to be a man. so he would feel rather depressed if he can't provide his woman with even better than what her lifestyle is.. so what about not being able to reach her lifestyle? so I guess it should always be balanced and ofcourse Allah Yarzuqu Man Yasha2 (Allah Gives whoever he wants) So you never know what the future may hide.. in contrast ... women always love to feel fluffy around their men by nature and hence may get very sad if they mistaken him not being able to provide them with NOT wanting to. So, I believe that a man should always be slightly better in terms of financial statement regardless of what may happen in the future.

Phat · 14th September 2009, 12:22 AM

@Ayna:Religion is not only for himself, religion is for both of you and for your future kids too. But yes it won't put food on table, but Allah may help him put food on table if he works hard to do so. Es3a ya3abd wa Ana as3a ma3ak.

Ayna · 14th September 2009, 12:28 AM

^ Yes ofcourse, 7aqek 3alay (my bad), but still! It sounds VERY hypocritical to me when girls say things like aham shay he's a good muslim and I'd marry him, specially when you know that that's far from the fact! IN "MARRIAGE" his religion is NOT enough to make it work trust me, there are other aspects that must be taken into consideration BEFORE a girl accepts to be with a guy, and financial status is not at the top, but definitely in the list!

Phat · 14th September 2009, 12:42 AM

Actually to be financially prepared for a real life marriage to provide the girl with her lifestyle is indirectly a part of religion. I'll tell you how, whats really made in religion about marriage is to be able to provide the girl with stuff so that she can be satisfied. So ... thats direct. you as a person cannot be happy if a guy cant provide you with good lifestyle. so if a guy didnt do that then he better not marry you (regardless of what may happen later) BUT another personality who lives like you may accept him even if he can't buy soaps as long as she can be satisfied. Full stop. See, thats how it connects religion. If you get ur woman satisfied and get prepared to what SHE wants then thats it. thats why there is mahar and moqadam wa mo2akhar. :)

Conclusion: It depends on a person to person, you may surely dont want something less while others may give their money just to be with a man. To you it may sound crazy, to them it is normal and doesn't effect them as long as they can live and get kids together. Elnas alwan =P.

Muggle · 14th September 2009, 12:43 AM

No I am not willing to get married to a poor guy. He does not have to be insanely rich but I'd want a good life for me and my kids. I wanna send them to private schools, I'd want to travel every few years and basically live comfortabley. Now he might be a little less wealthy than me but that doesn't mean I'd go for someone whose financial status is way lower than mine.
I'd also like to point out religin IS a very big factor. There's no way I'm getting involved with a guy who doesn't take his religion seriously. Besides, it even has to do with money as it would hopefully teach him to find a balance between being too stingy and having an overy stretched out hand.

sHanna · 14th September 2009, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rummy

If he is going to afford to support the current lifestyle I live in or better than that I wouldn't mind, but if he is going to make me compromise against my will and force m to let of of things that make up my current lifestyle then he can seriously forget it. He should accept the fact that I live a certain way and that he has to live up as per to those standards.

I agreeee !

Belle · 14th September 2009, 01:48 AM

I want him loaded.

Mudrich · 17th September 2009, 10:04 AM

Guys: Would you allow the ladies in your family (sisters/cousins/daughters/etc) to marry someone who isn't well off and from a low financial status?

It really depends i mean i wont just allow if he has money or with a good financial status! to me its all about responsibility and the personality!

Money isn't on my top important stuff in life. :)

FAITH · 17th September 2009, 12:01 PM

Aren't they supposed to be independent from their families? I seriously can't see why it should matter :D

Muggle · 17th September 2009, 04:55 PM

I was thinking, you girls want your guys to be as rich as your fathers?
I think it's a little unfair. Our fathers have been working for a long time now and unless they were very rich from the beginning then they had to work hard to reach whatever financial status they're in at the moment.
So yes, I am willing to go for someone who is not as financially well-off as my family as long as he's got a good job. With my help, we'll be doing fine. That being said, I'm not settling for someone who's clearly not going to be able to support me or my family well, or at least meet my expectations.

Lawla91 · 17th September 2009, 05:04 PM

I can accept someone who is a little poorer than me or a little\alot richer than me..

Azzan · 17th September 2009, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Muggle

I was thinking, you girls want your guys to be as rich as your fathers?
I think it's a little unfair. Our fathers have been working for a long time now and unless they were very rich from the beginning then they had to work hard to reach whatever financial status they're in at the moment.
So yes, I am willing to go for someone who is not as financially well-off as my family as long as he's got a good job. With my help, we'll be doing fine. That being said, I'm not settling for someone who's clearly not going to be able to support me or my family well, or at least meet my expectations.

Wow... totally agreed. Word.

I think Muggle's post just put all the other posts to shame with it's rationality and wisdom.